the mossy glade

The Jesus Accent

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 04:44:51 GMT

Thus From My Lips, By Yours, My Sin Is Purged
This song by As Cities Burn really encapsulates what I perceive to be the struggle in what I revere and aspire to be in Christ, and the mere maggot I am most of the time. If you like this song, I highly recommend the rest of the album Son, I Loved You At Your Darkest and their newer ventures as well.

Well, I've got a will but I want yours
I've got a growing heap of crosses and burdens
I've simply lost heart to shoulder
Simply no strength to lift
I've always been a man in need
'Cause I keep stepping in and out of the shadow

Caught by the drift and pitch of whatever it is
That keeps me coming back
I want out
'Cause I'm getting sick
Sick from all this swerving
Driver, sick from turning on you

Someone show me a hole in this cycle
Show me the way away and I'm coming back
The way I came
No! I've seen this place before
Surely this is no place for the light of this world

Oh how sweet the sound
I know it saved but is it changing a wretch like me?
Oh my God how sweet is the sound
I once was blind but now I just look away

Stepping in and out of the shadow
Stepping in and out
I just look away
Stepping in and out of the shadow
I just look away

Stepping in and out

My bride, I don't want to know what I'd be without
forgiveness brushing these adulterous lips

---------------------------------

Bit of a challenge to all the Christians out there - how're we going with the walk? Is your relationship with God strong? Or is it a bit more like the precarious state of the world's financial markets? How's prayer? Do you really thank Him for everything you've got? Are you living a life wholly devoted to Him? And one last thing I find really tough...when people look at you, do they see the love of Jesus?

Definitely something worth mulling over.

---------------------------------

I've been reading this great book lately called The Power of Words and the Wonder of God and I think the Spirit's really convicted me of the weight of my own words and how what I say and write impacts upon others. Here's two excerpts that've really struck me:

What kingdom rules your words? Whose kingdom do you speak in service of - the claustrophobic kingdom of self or the big-sky country of the glorious, love-infused kingdom of God? ...The kingdom that rules your heart will dictate your words.

But there is grace - glorious, powerful, enabling, forgiving and delivering grace - for this struggle. Remember, there is no more present or powerful argument for our daily moment-by-moment need of God's grace than the words that come out of our mouths.

Each of us needs to be enflamed with love for His kingdom, with hearts filled with gratitude, so that we will speak as agents of his boundless transforming love.

Pray for the rescue of His grace so that you may speak as He intended. That is a prayer you can be assured He will hear and answer.

~ Paul David Tripp

At the end of the day, it may not be so much what people say to you when you are in a room that is the really telling thing about your speech as a Christian. Rather it may be the questions people ask when you leave the room. "Where does he come from?" "Do you know where she belongs?"

Do you speak like someone who "sounds" a little like Jesus because, born broken in your consciousness of your sinful tongue, you have found pardon and renewal in Christ, and now his Word dwells richly in you?

At the end of the day, that is what spiritual maturity looks like - or better, sounds like - because of the transformation of our use of the tongue. May that be true of us more and more!
~ Sinclair B. Ferguson

The Freedom to Choose

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:55:26 GMT

In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to wish that you were young
When good things are unraveling, bad things come undone
You weather love and lose your innocence

There will be liars and thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence
But you are not what you do
And when you need it most
I have a hundred reasons why I love you

If you weather love and lose your innocence
Just remember - lesson one
(Do not hide.)

Boys (Lesson One), Jars of Clay

This song's been my mantra as of late. It touches base on many of the things that have occupied my mind these holidays - love in its most infinite and incomprehensible definition, relationships on precipices, that great beloved octopus we call family, the progression of age and its associated knowledge & maturity, the necessity and frivolity of vulnerability, sordid sin and the suffering that grows in its shrouds, the multiplicity of truth and the meaning of surrender. I could rattle about these trains of thought much like a Tangara (i.e. endlessly), but I shall spare you, dear friend, for I have something I wish to explore first.

So I was trawling my RSS feeds as per usual, and I stumbled upon Sam Franada of Jesusbranded's latest shirt/blog - Ceasing of Thievery. His designs are always a bit of a hit or miss with me; if it's evocative, well-designed and thought-provoking, I adore it, if it's not...meh. However, the accompanying explanations/blogs of his designs are ALWAYS interesting, limpid and worthy of consideration. (Bear with me, I promise this gets more interesting. XD)

I was skimming through his explanation of the thought process behind Ceasing of Thievery and lo and behold, my eyes focus on a set of bold statements that remind me much of Trainspotting's mise en scene, which features a voice over speaking the following words...

Renton then goes on to say:

..but why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

It's a sad statement, but there are fragments of truth embedded in the bitter words. And it got me thinking about choice. The nature of choice, its difficulties, the consequences of bad choices, the seemingly endless stream of weak choices, or more conventionally, regrets. Choice is a fickle mistress. Too much of her and she will incapacitate you, paralyse like the poison lacing her lips; too little and you either go crazy for want of her or become an apathetic automaton callous to her calls.

Which is why when I read what Sam had to say about choice, a small childlike smile tugged at my heart.

Choose life, optimism, adventure, identity, risk, love. Choose encouragement, hope, good, freedom, discipline, and the art of receiving. Choose to accept. Choose love. Choose forgiveness. Choose joy. Choose healing. Choose the present.

This is the life of a Christ follower - one who dwells in the amazing light and love of the Lord, and as a result, chooses to actively love the socks off everyone and anyone they encounter, building up their brothers and sisters with a God-given strength and wisdom unparalleled by any mere mortal.

And frankly, His love is a gift I cannot believe He would bequeath to someone as depraved as I, the lowest of the low. His ultimate gift - Jesus the Christ, Saviour and Son, crushed for my iniquities, brutalised & crucified for my sins - was a choice. God did not have to choose to love us. We were deserving of His anger and wrath, every single one of us would have deserved all of it and more. God could have chose to punish us and leave us in the darkness we so delight in - and it would have been just and fair to do so.

But what did He do?

He chose grace.

He chose to douse Himself in the punishment we deserved, pouring out His anger on Jesus as He writhed in agony on that rugged cross.

He chose to defeat death and ascend to the heavens, to prepare a place for us beside the Creator of the universe and lover of our souls.

He chose to intercede for us constantly, to superimpose His perfection on our brokenness - regardless of our constant screw ups and empty promises.

He chooses to fill the God-shaped hole inside the heart of every human on this earth...but only if you want Him to.

So here's my proposition to you, my captive audience:

What will you choose?

The Covenant

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:29:26 GMT

I'm not looking to music to complete me.
I'm not looking for a new philosophy.
I'm not waiting for somebody to swoon me.
I'm just searching for a better way into Your love.

~ Hearts and Minds, Ivoryline

Mm. Good song. I just wanted to announce that in the month of July, I will ban myself from all junk food. Yup, that's right, in my three weeks of holidays and my birthday, I will not eat junk food.
My definition of junk food includes stuff such as:

fried anything
chocolate
confectionary
chips
overly oily foods (yes, that includes bacon)
soft drinks

Does anyone know of good healthy snacks that will cure my sugar cravings? Right now I'm loving unsalted nuts, but they're not really sugary. The only thing I can think of is fruit.

Additionally, I have set a goal of moderate to intense exercise for at least 30 mins, 3 days a week (currently I'm doing 2 days) for the month of July.
Anyone wanna go exercise with me? Suggestions for exercise that won't bore me to tears? XD

I'm hoping that the side effects of this self-imposed 'get healthy & fit' scheme will flow over into my normal routine. Otherwise, if I'm not finding it too bad, I'll just extend it to August as well.

Also, if I break my covenant, you officially have permission to pelt me with whatever you have handy, be that physical objects or a torrent of verbal abuse. :D

/end uninspired and undeep blog/

A Rainy Sunday

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:26:37 GMT

Courage is not the towering oak
That sees storms come and go,
It is the fragile blossom
That opens in the snow.
~ Alice M. Swaim

Snow Falling on Cedars: A Review

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:59:48 GMT

Beautiful imagery; dashing story. Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson, a novel I recently devoured with a voracity I’ve been missing in my reading for a while now, really draws you in first and foremost as a crime story, a tale of injustice and the underdog in the face of lies, prejudice and society.

But it’s also so much more than that. It’s spellbindingly beautiful (again, I really love the description Guterson employs and his imagery, and I gotta admit, the characters really broke my heart a couple of times) and brings all sorts of issues to the table, including war, love, racism/xenophobia (tensions between the Japanese and Americans), justice, truth, duty/honour and identity, tantalising and challenging the mind to stretch and warp in intriguing ways. I even read on Wikipedia that it was part of the HSC course, and if that’s true, I’ll be stoked.

This segment is one that I particularly liked as it resonates with me on all kinds of levels and touches on some thought trains that occupy my mind on sleepless nights. Since I just got home from the nursing home, it’s all the more relevant. Comes from the very last pages of the book.

(For those of you who are interested in the legal logistics, this was at the end of the trial and just before the jury deliberations, being the defence’s closing address and all. Nels Gudmundsson is the defence lawyer, representing Kabuo Miyamoto who’s been charged with murder in the first degree.)

‘I am an old man,’ Nels Gudmundsson continued. ‘I do not walk so well anymore, and one of my eyes is useless. I suffer from headaches and arthritis in my knees. On top of all this I nearly froze to death last night, and today I am weary, having slept not a wink. And so, like you, I hope for warmth tonight and for an end to this storm we are enduring. I would wish for my life to continue pleasantly for many years to come. This final wish, I must admit to myself, is not something I can readily count on, for if I don’t not pass on in the next ten years I will certainly do so in the next twenty. My life is drawing to a close…

I say this because as an older man I am prone to ponder matters in the light of death in a way that you are not. I am like a traveler descended from Mars who looks down in astonishment at what passes here. And what I see is the same human frailty passed from generation to generation. What I see is again and again the same sad human frailty. We hate one another; we are the victim of irrational fears. And there is nothing in the stream of human history to suggest we are going to change this.

But – I digress, I confess that. I merely wish to point out that in the face of such a world you have only yourselves to rely on. You have only the decision you must make, each of you, alone. And will you contribute to the indifferent forces that ceaselessly conspire toward injustice? Or will you stand up against this endless tide and in the face of it be truly human?’

Snow Falling on Cedars, David Guterson

Just think about all that that short excerpt is saying to you. It’s pretty deep for ‘just another crime book’.

If you like the crime genre and enjoy lyrical prose, I absolutely recommend Snow Falling on Cedars to you. But even if you don’t, it’s definitely a stand out for me in the oversaturated realm of crime fiction so if you’re thinking of reading something along those lines, give it a go. I must warn you though, there are some rather sexual scenes within the novel which I just kind of skimmed over, so it’s advisable to have a certain level of maturity before perusing these pages.

But going back to the aforementioned quote, it also really reminded me of this song by Jars of Clay. It’s called Oh my God and it’s a great song, burdened with emotion; brings to mind Lamentations and some of the psalms. Check it out. Muse on the lyrics a while. Mental exertion is good for you. :)

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqeyisb688
Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jarsofclay/ohmygod.html

P.S. Ishmael and Hatsue would’ve made such a good couple. I mourn the loss of their relationship. D: But I guess life’s life. You’ll understand what I’m talking about if you read the book.

P.P.S. Look Eva, pictures! :D

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 07:47:58 GMT

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

I just finished reading Tony Anthony's testimony, Taming the Tiger and I think God's really convicted me through it.

Through Tony's story, He showed me what a 'comfortable Christian' I'd become. Someone who's lost their passion for Jesus and their drive to tell others about Him. I think I've really been working in my own self-righteousness and my own strength, caught up in myself and my world, being a prideful and arrogant person who runs her own life on her own terms. He's been tugging at my heartstrings for a while now about it, especially about faith and the true nature of humility. I was too blind to see it until now. And suddenly, I was reminded of that classic hymn, Amazing Grace...

Amazing grace, I hummed to myself,
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

I just wanna thank God sooooooo much for all He's done. He's so awesome, loving, graceful and powerful, so worthy of all glory, honour and praise! I am truly nothing without Him. He doesn't need me, but He wants me and loves me and likes me more than anyone could all the same. We are so blessed to have a God like ours. :)

How can we not respond? How can we remain inert and complacent in the scope of His love? How is it that we can become so comfortable in our lives when thousands, nay, millions do not know the saving Word of Christ?

My friends, this is the question I put to you and myself.
How you answer it is entirely up to you.
The ball's in your court now. Don't fumble it.

P.S. I've been really challenged by Skillet's Looking for Angels this afternoon. As I've been musing on the self, suffering, social justice and what exactly it means to put faith into action as of late, this song is both the catalyst and embodiment of those thoughts.
I strongly encourage you to consider the lyrics I pose below. I hope it puts things into perspective for you, and that you'll be challenged in the same way I was through it.

Walk this world alone, try to stay on my feet
Sometimes crawl, fall, but I stand up cause I'm afraid to sleep
Open my eyes to a new day, with all new problems, and all new pain
All the faces are filled with so much anger
Losing our dignity and hope from fear of danger
After all the wars, after settling the scores, at the break of dawn, will we be deaf to the answers?

There's so much bigotry, misunderstanding and fear
With eyes squinted and fists clinched we reach out for what is dear
We want it we want
We want a reason to live
We're on a pilgrimage
A crusade for hope
Cause in our hearts and minds and souls we know
We need it, we need
We need more than this

Going through this life looking for angels
People passing by looking for angels
Walking down the streets looking for angels
Everyone I meet looking for angels

So many nations with so many hungry people
So many homeless scrounging around for dirty needles
On the rise, teen suicide, when we will realize
We've been desensitized by the lies of the world
We're oppressed and impressed by the greedy
Whose hands squeeze the life out of the needy
When will we learn that wars, threats, and regrets are the cause and effect of living in fear?

Who can help protect the innocence of our children
Stolen on the internet with images they can't forget
We want it, we want
We want a reason to live
We represent a generation that wants to turn back a nation
To let love be our light and salvation
We need it we need
We need more than this

I became a savior to some kids I'll never meet
Sent a check in the mail to buy them something to eat
What will you do to make a difference, to make a change?
What will you do to help someone along the way?
Just a touch, a smile as you turn the other cheek
Pray for your enemies, humble yourself, love's staring back at me
In the midst of the most painful faces
Angels show up in the strangest of places...

Materialism Redux/A Challenge

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 06:56:23 GMT

[ Huh...I thought I'd lost this blog to the black depths of the Internet. Apparently not...just opened LJ to blog and this pops up as a saved draft. Pretend this was dated 5 April then. XD ]

All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men and women to do nothing.
~ paraphrased from Edmund Burke

After the pestering of many people, I've decided to update. Man, I never thought anyone actually READ this thing...I use it more as a creative escape when things are overwhelming or when I feel like writing. Regardless, props to you (yes, YOU) who is bored enough to read my ramblings. :)

So today, I got Daylight Savings Time wrong. Instead of setting the clock back an hour, I set it forward...and consequently woke up 2 hours earlier than I needed to for church. I was a tad annoyed when I realised. XD

Anyway, I used the time to tidy up my closet and try on a couple of outfits. And while I was doing so, I realised something. My thought process went a little like this:

Mm, these colours contrast nicely.
I think I'll wear this sometime soon.
Why on earth is that sitting in my closet?
I think I need to get more clothes.
While I'm at it, I should probably buy some more shoes. I'm severely lacking in those.
And a beret for winter! Yeah, a beret would be cool. And a scarf. And some gloves. Gotta rug up now.
Oh and I really want to get some new eyeliner! And that nice scent I smelt on whoever it was.
You know what, I should just go shopping. Off to find Chinese New Year money...

And then I stopped. And I realised that I was being sucked into the same materialist bullshit that I'd gotten so very angry about on this blog nearly a year earlier.

It truly saddened me. To think...humans, humans who have conquered the world, eradicated diseases and made thousands of improvements to lives in so many circumstances can be so easily swayed by advertising, peer pressure and the shallow values impressed upon us. It's more than depressing. It's downright disturbing.

But George, I hear you say, it's not our fault! Blame society! Blame the media! Blame the trans-national corporations and their big evil bosses!

No, my friends. They may contribute, but they are not the source of the problem. We are.

There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.
Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit.
The poison of vipers is on their lips.
Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.
Their feet are swift to shed blood
ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know.
~ Romans 3:11-17

We're all sinful. We know we're not perfect, however hard we try. We all screw up in various ways, say things that we wish we could take back and have done things we're not proud of. Me included.

Well I put a challenge to you, dear reader. Are you ready? Here it is.

Accept it. Accept your failures and regrets. Accept the fact that sin happens and that you screw up a lot more than you'd like to admit.

Accepted it? Good. Now here's the hard part.

Do something about it.

By this, I don't necessarily mean try to be the nicest person in the world. Sure, it'd be great if everyone could be a little bit more loving, but I wouldn't want you to be someone you're not because you don't fit squarely into the 'nice person' category. Heck, I'd really rather that you didn't if it meant that you were being dishonest to yourself.

Friends, when I say 'do something about it', I mean take some responsibility and think about the bigger picture.

I know in this day and age, we're not too keen on 'responsibility'. It's one of those dreaded words that inhibits our freedoms and fun. Well, I scoff at our modern depiction of responsibility. I put the onus on us.

We are the ones who will inhabit the earth long after the 'responsible figures' of today are gone. We are the ones who will be the examples for our kids. We are the ones who will shape the future, for better or worse. And for that reason, it's our responsibility to make sure we damn well do it right.

Okay, you say, so I've accepted responsibility for my failures. I know I'm not perfect. I wanna be different. Now what?

Well I advise you to take a step back and behold the grand tapestry that is the world we live in. It shines so beautifully in so many ways and yet, it's stained, marred and torn by the greed, malice, poverty, selfishness, hatred and atrocities that humans can commit given the right situations.

Now look closer at our tapestry's imperfections...what do you see?
What is it that irks you on to no end? What repulses you and completely overwhelms your compassionate sensibilities? What makes you wonder where the justice in the world is? What is it you see that makes you lose faith in humanity?

Well dear reader, the glaring flaw you see in the tapestry of the world is what you should be getting angry about. It differs for everyone; some see child poverty, others see homelessness, still others see environmental degradation. Whatever it is, I encourage you to go do something about it. It won't be easy or fun a lot of the time. You'll encounter frustration, setbacks and tears and you'll feel as though your actions could not possibly make a difference in the grand scheme of things.

But just think about that thimble of good, that pinprick of hope, that small act of love that you could impart to someone and the world of difference it could potentially make. And remember, above all...

There is something beyond yourself, beyond the selfish nature, beyond the materialism that so pervades our society, beyond the black abyss that manifests itself in the dark realities of our world. Something noble and true. Something that spurs you on to love even through the deepest shadows and suffering. Something higher...something worth living for.

Truth (Like A Blazing Fire)

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 07:24:51 GMT

Find glory
Beyond the cheap coloured lights
One song
Before the sun sets
Glory, on another empty life...

Time flies...
Time dies!
Glory
One blaze of glory...

One Song Glory, RENT (Original Broadway Cast)

Greetings!

Just to clear something up, the Red Cross has cancelled their Calling Appeal this year...mainly because people would think the proceeds would only go to the bushfires. So yeah...you can probably disregard that whole last post. :D

Year 11 is a little bit strange.
It's strange in that I feel so much OLDER now. Not so much more mature, because I've always been quite mature for my age, overly-mature even, but definitely older. It's probably due to the revelation that my years as a high school student are drawing to a close and that I'm nearing the age where I'll no longer be a teenager, but a 'young adult'. It's a rather foreign concept to me...don't think I'll grasp it properly for a while.

Anyway, I was doing some soul-searching the other night and I thought, where will everything..all my hopes, dreams, fears, worries, aspirations and ambitions lead me? Will I be living in a remote community in the outback, trying to keep kids in school or perhaps establishing a health care centre? Will I be decomposing in a mass grave of missionaries somewhere in the world, or lying by the way, a failure, bruised and bloodied, forgotten and alone? Will I be a burnt out husk of a social worker, so embittered and world-weary that I can't function properly? Will I make it in the big wide world? ...will I always love Jesus?

And yeah...that last one got to me. I know so many people who have fallen away from the faith...it's really tragic actually. Mr. Stanley would probably frown at that use of 'tragedy', but whatever, I can totally justify it.
Coz you simply can't predict life and expect everything to be the same as it is now. I know I'll change in the future...for the better hopefully...but you never know. Actually, I don't even know if I'll be alive two minutes from now. I could choke on the gum I'm chewing, have a heart attack or be killed by a plane falling out of the sky. It just highlights how short life really is.
We try to cheat death by obeying OH&S laws, exercising, using ergonomic stuff, eating well, living a good life, not doing stupid things when, in the end, our mortality will always win. A verse from the Word comes to mind...

All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
Isaiah 40:6

Imagine that. You worry about all these things, push for the best, try to get ahead in life, trample various people to get there...and all for what? That taste of fleeting glory, here one moment, swept away on the updrafts of uncertainty the next?

Wouldn't it be better to put your hopes in something real and eternal? To trust and believe in something of value and of worth, something true and something beautiful?

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:8

Forever...what a comforting verse! We can put our hopes in the Word of God and we know that it's true and eternal! And since we know that the Bible is God's word, not a rule book of what not to do if you're a Christian, there are a lot of other verses which will hold true for eternity. Especially this one...

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, netiher angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, netiher height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39

I don't know if you appreciate the significance of that verse, but I certainly do. Jesus loves us...not for who we will be or who we were, but who we are right now, however screwed up and imperfect we may be. So perhaps, instead of wondering what novel you should next devour, it'd be a good idea to pick up a copy of the Bible and read a bit. You never know...it might just lead you to where you've always wanted to be.

Come Hell or High Water...

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 09:00:04 GMT

Father God, I am clay in your hands
Help me to stay that way through all life's demands
'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me
And every little thing I make up my mind to be...

Lose My Soul, tobyMac

Since Eva's been pestering me to update my LJ more frequently, here I am!

Welp, I guess I'll talk about school. I've been pretty busy with all the homework that I've been getting...Yr 11 is definitely a step up from Yr 10. That and I've been getting more involved in my school community and the community at large which is eating away at my time...I dunno why but I've felt the sudden urge to get out there and DO THINGS. Maybe I've been inspired by the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. Maybe I want to develop my leadership potential. Maybe I'm running from something. Maybe God's spurring my sleeping heart to action...what is faith without works after all? :)

Anyway, speaking of doing things, I'm going door knocking for the Red Cross Calling Appeal with Paulie in March! :D

As you all know, the recent catastrophes in Victoria and North Queensland have left thousands of people in need of all the help they can get. Many've lost their possessions, homes and loved ones to the fire and floods - something I couldn't even fathom. The Australian public as a whole has responded with true blue love and generosity, giving of their time, money and even their lives.

Now I'm not trying to guilt trip you into giving me money. I'm just asking you to think about the total devastation these people have suffered through...and to put yourself in their shoes. Just imagine...it's a horrific scene, isn't it? I honestly don't know how they remain so strong in the face of fear...I find it a terrifying prospect.

That's why I really pray you'll open your heart and hands. I pray you'll give generously to your Australian brothers and sisters in this time of trial, whether it be through me, through the Red Cross/Salvos website or through any other means. If you don't have money, there are plenty of other ways to help...donating clothes, jewelry, time or even spare toothbrushes are just some of the ways I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure you creative people can think of much better. :P

But yeah, if you'd like to make a donation to the Red Cross, however small, let me know!

At the very least, it's something worth thinking about.

"Be Crazy and Outrageous!"

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 12:34:41 GMT

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost

Hmm. I've been reading lots of poetry lately, which is rather uncharacteristic of me...I don't really get how people carry around books of poetry to read as opposed to novels. Perhaps it's just that verse is their literary calling and prose is mine. But yeah, I love and hate how poetry can be so obscure and open-ended. Sometimes a verse will just click with you and you'll totally get what the poet's on about but at other times you just wish there was a tried and true mathematical thereom approach to reading the poem so you could have an inkling of what on EARTH this poet was thinking when they penned this lovely nonsense.

And there's my literary rant of the day. Now, we fight onwards, through the thickets of distraction and moats of procrastination to the important stuff! :D

TEENSS STARTED TODAY!!! AND I AM PUMPED!!! :D

It's just so exciting to see the whole TeenSS family together again! Greeting all the familiar faces, discussing new ideas for the year and seeing a coupla new faces...it's heart-warming stuff. :) If you're a Teen and you're reading this, I LOVE YOU!! XD You people are the most excellent, loving and I quote, "crazy and outrageous!!" people I know! I can't imagine myself if I'd never been invited to TeenSS Houseparty.

It just occurred to me that some of you (and by you, I mean whoever is bored enough to be reading this blog) might not know what TeenSS is. Well, I shall render you an image in woefully insufficient detail...you can't describe the full TeenSS experience in words. It's just THAT good.

First of all, TeenSS stands for Teen Sunday School, just to clear that up. It sounds a bit lame, but trust me, TeenSS is anything BUT lame. (TeenSS is actually what you'd call a youth group as opposed to a Sunday School...just in case that confused you. It's for anyone in Years 7-12. :D)

Second, TeenSS isn't just the service, it's a really great bunch of people. We have about 50 high school youth from all over Sydney, all very unique personality-wise but unified in their love of Christ. We also have an excellent pack of leaders who guide, encourage and grow us as Christians, always pointing us towards Jesus and setting great examples for us as young believers! Not only that, but the leaders make for very cool, wise and compassionate friends as well as being great listeners. If you ever need to get something off your chest, these are the people to speak to. :)

Thirdly, TeenSS also isn't just the people. It's the act of worship, the worship of a loving and holy Creator who gave his very self to us so that we may be reconciled to Him! Worship is essentially expressing your love, devotion and commitment to the Lord by obeying Him and His commands! Commands aren't always bad things, by the way, though my connotations also tend to lean that way. One of His commands is to be full of joy and "Rejoice in [Me] always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4) Now that, friends, is hardly a bad thing. :)

Anyway, there are lots of ways to worship God, but in TeenSS we do it mainly by singing praises to Him, talking to Him (prayer), reading His Word (the Bible) and hearing His Word (talks). It's so great to be able to come together and worship our Holy Father as a big congregation...it's very encouraging. :)
That's why, if you're a Christian, while you don't HAVE to go to a church, it's a really good idea to try to, because it's so much easier to be a Christian when you have the encouragement and love from other Christian friends. It's also really good in the hard times too because you know that you're not alone in your sufferings. :)

So to sum it all up, TeenSS is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! If you're of high school age and reading this blog now (and I'm assuming that I actually know you), you should REALLY come check it out! It doesn't matter if you're Christian or not, people of all faiths, shapes and sizes are welcome at our church. :D If you're thinking that this 'TeenSS' thing sounds like something you might like to visit sometime, leave a comment or talk to me. :)

If I get any interest from anyone whatsoever, I might add something about when/where TeenSS is.

'Til next time, ciao!

P.S. I was supposed to go to sleep at 10.30pm...oops. :)

P.P.S. I meant to include two semi-memorable quotes from today, but I guess I kind of forgot with all the s'plaining.

Me: "Well, I'm not sure if this is legal but..." *goes onto explain her idea, already tainted by the poorly expressed disclaimer."

Kim: *giggle* "Be crazy and outrageous!"

And man, I'm sure there was more, but I've forgotten them now. Splendid is my recollection.

Ready!

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:37:43 GMT

Hi friends!

Thank you for all your prayers, support and cheering-up efforts throughout this tough time. It has really helped me to get out of my funk and I think it's safe to say I'm out of the woods for now. Praise be to God! :)

However, everything's not over yet...in fact, things won't be over for a long time to come, bu the hardest part is over and I'm learning to cope with the rest slowly, through the grace of the loving Father. Keep praying for me guys...it does make a difference.

Anyway, I'd like to share a song that has recently become very close to my heart. It's called Ready by Third Day, from the album Revelation. I highly recommend this album! It's fun Christian Southern rock, full of insightful, thought-provoking lyrics, catchy hooks and rockin' melodies that are typically Third Day.

Yes, back to Ready.

Very inspiring and provocative words the lyrics are. It's as though the writer knew all the clumsy words written on the tablet of my heart and turned them into one beautiful song. Have a squiz at them as you go listen to the video clip.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=7-Cs3a3Dghs

I'm ready for the winds to change
I'm ready for a brighter day
I'm ready for the sun to shine down on me

I'm waiting for a song to sing
I'm looking for a brand new thing
I'm ready now to live a life that I believe

I want the world to turn because of love
And mercy to find each of us
Doing what we can to just believe
I want the world to know that You're the One
Who fills me up and gives me hope
And brings about this change that's in me
Oh yeah, I'm ready, yeah
You know I'm ready now

I'm ready for the truth to be
Something that can set us free
Does anybody still believe we'll make it through?

I'm ready now to take a stand
To live life for more than myself
Tell me now, my friend, are you ready, too?

I want the world to turn because of love
And mercy to find each of us
Doing what we can to just believe
I want the world to know that You're the One
Who fills me up and gives me hope
And brings about this change that's in me
Oh yeah, I'm ready, yeah
You know I'm ready now

I can't sit around waiting for it all to change
It's gonna take every single one of us doing what we can
There's lots of fighting in this world but there's so much loving, too
So take my hand, I'm ready now for you

I want the world to turn because of love
And mercy to find each of us
Doing what we can to just believe
I want the world to know that You're the One
Who fills me up and gives me hope
And brings about this change that's in me
Oh yeah, I'm ready, yeah
You know I'm ready now

Lord knows I'm ready
You know I'm ready

I'm ready for the winds to change
I'm ready for a brighter day

Tell me what you think, dear friends.
Also, how are all your holidays panning out? Any (mis)adventures, overseas or Sydney-based, you wish to share? Feel free to spin wonderfully exciting or wonderfully dull stories by commenting.

Oh! I got a Facebook. Yup. George got a Facebook. And now you can all befriend, tag and NOT spam me. :D
Let the poke wars begin!

When the going gets tough...

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 10:14:48 GMT

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:7-10

This entry isn't going to be too long, but what the hey, I'm blogging at least. :)

So...times have been pretty tough lately.

Loneliness...frustration...helplessness...depression...anger...and just feeling completely weighed down by it all, you name it, I've probably felt it in the past two weeks.

It's a horrible thing to feel completely and utterly alone. To lay your head in your hands and weep bitterly, to silently scream at everything and nothing in scalding showers and to walk around wounded in a mist of confusion... it's a pretty soul-searching experience.

But you know what I found when I ventured into the caves of my heart?

I found that there's no such thing as being completely and utterly alone. It doesn't matter where you are, who you are or what you've done. There's always someone there for you. And that person is God.

GOD! The truly awesome, almighty God who is SO BIG that He has held the oceans in His hand, measured the heavens with His fingers and BREATHED the universe as we know it into existence! He knitted us together in our mothers’ wombs, created our innermost beings and knows our deepest thoughts. He is truly worthy of all honour, glory and praise!

And yet, our God is not a God of hate, of malice or of evil. He cares for each and every one of us. He cares for us, the pathetic, broken, worthless creatures that backstabbed Him when He opened His arms out to embrace us. He cares for us so much that He died for us, yes that's right, He died the worst death you could possibly die, a slow brutal death of pure AGONY, so that we might be able to repair the broken relationship between us and Him.

What did it cost us? Nothing. What did it cost Him? Everything.

That is what we Christians call grace, my friends. Do you now see why it is so amazing?
This grace lets us grow a beautiful relationship with our loving Creator and enjoy a perfect existence in heaven with our Lord forever and ever! Seriously, what more could you want?

Anyway...back to my original dilemma. That’s how I get through these unbelievably tough times...by taking real comfort in this wonderful, wonderful life assurance. (He knows what it feels like, the pain you’re going through. God doesn’t promise to end your sufferings on this earth, but He does promise to always give you the strength to carry on through them. :D)

So when times are tough, I look only to the cross. I see there the wonderful things that Jesus has done for me already and I am truly grateful. Jesus has already dealt with all my sins, past, present and future on that cross, and so I can look forward to that final day with great anticipation and longing. That’s why I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Romans 8:18).

Because in the end...it’s all for Jesus.

And frankly, that’s the best damn purpose you could ever live for.

Living for Love

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:23:05 GMT

In this world of news, I've found nothing new
I've found nothing pure
Maybe I'm just idealistic to assume that truth
Could be fact and form
That love could be a verb
Maybe I'm just a little misinformed...

Let Your Love Be Strong, Switchfoot

I want to talk about Subject Choices.

Okay, you say, sure it's important to know what you wanna do in Year 11 but it's not MONUMENTAL...right?

Well, then you don't fully understand the consequences of subject-choosing.

Not only do you have to sit through the mindless drivel for the next year of your life, but subjects shape what you do in the HSC. And as everyone knows, the HSC is a life or death matter. (Not really.)

But yeah, here's what I propose to do:

3u    English
2u    Maths
2u    Geography
2u    Business Studies
2u    Legal Studies
2u    Economics
Which comes to a grand total of...*fanfare* 13 units!

What's wrong with my list? I'll tell you what's wrong with it.

1) BUSINESS&$(#*%^#)*$*()@#$&FINANCIAL&*$#@&$(MONEY$&#@*)$&*()@#GOING INSANE!&%#$*)@&*#@
If you haven't noticed, I'm going to be focusing on commerce. And while I do enjoy things in this area, I can't help but worry that I might go batshit crazy with all of the financey lingo and market analysis that I'll be doing.

2) I want to be a social worker.

Okay, you can temporarily suspend your disbelief now. I realise that my choices revolve mainly around commerce...which revolves mainly around money. The odd thing? I don't give a damn about money. I could burn my life's savings and move into a cardboard box for all I care. [I still find Business Studies/Economics the most attractive subjects at this point in time though, so my lackthereof love of money doesn't really matter.]

But the thing is, my parents expect me to do an Economics degree. [Which is reasonable, considering that I AM interested in finance.]

Now I don't know all too much about Economics and its relevant job prospects but I am hardly the type who aspires to work the 9 to 5 routine, pushing papers and typing away at a computer all day. I'd much rather being out in the community, helping people who really do need it, living in touch with the sad realities of our marginalised world.

I know this road isn't easy, and nor do I secretly wish it was. Writing reports about the state of Australia's economy will always be easier than taking away a child from an abusive home or assuring an elderly person that they lived a good life on their deathbed. But we all have to make tough choices. And frankly, I don't think there are enough people out there who are willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.

And I can see their point of view. Who wants to work an emotionally-catastrophic, low-paying, long hours job that offers little to no career advancement or cushy future prospects?  Why would you risk your mental health in a job renowned for its appallingly high burnout rates? Why would you want to make a measly living out of helping those people that don't even want to help themselves? Why, you ask?

Because LIFE is not about money. It's about LOVE.

At the core of a human being, there is love. This love is not some paltry moral guideline or second-rate rule. This love doesn't just send a one-off cheque to World Vision when you feel guilty seeing that emaciated kid on the TV living in the dirt, or give some spare change to the Salvos when the Red Shield Appeal rolls around coz, well, they're the Salvos and they uh...help people.

This love drives people to DO THINGS. Great, miraculous, AWESOME things. And sometimes, they even motivate people to perform small wonders. And by small wonders, I don't mean walking on water. I mean withdrawing a year's salary from your bank account, buying as many good quality sleeping bags as you can get, driving into the city and giving them to the cold homeless free of charge. I mean spending genuine time with that colleague who's going through a breakdown in their marraige, just being there for them. I mean forgiving the person who has betrayed your former trust and friendship so thoroughly, and hurt you so profoundly that a lot of the time, you wish they'd just drop off the planet.

And THAT is why I want to do social work. Because it isn't busting my ass to make good money. It's much more noble than that, and deserves a lot more credit than people give it. [I have heard many a person ask me: why would you do social work?? can't you just...volunteer in your spare time/give money to charity/help me instead? For the record, these people are missing the point.]

Social work is essentially loving others in the most difficult of situations. It is a practical channel for the great Love that leads my life. Jesus, whose Love lights the true path of freedom, calls me to pick up my cross and follow Him.

And I answer.

Will you?

A Trip Down Guilt Lane

Mon, 26 May 2008 11:21:56 GMT

When all the love in the world is right here among us, and hatred too
So we must choose what our hands will do

Where there is pain, let there be grace
Where there is suffering, bring serenity
For those afraid, help them be brave
Where there is misery, bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something...

Surely We Can Change, David Crowder Band

Do you ever get sick of all the bullshit the world has to offer? Coz I sure do.

If society was a person, it would be a pushy, manipulative salesperson, endlessly enticing you with cheap unfulfilling products. But that wouldn't annoy me. No, it's the fact that the people of the world make a conscious descision to buy all this meaningless crap.

I mean, all these things aren't worth it. Clothes, jewelry, oil, gadgets, books, DVDs, CDs, phones, iPods - you name it, there's an excess of it. Sure they might be cool/fun/interesting/drool-worthy for a while, but in the end, what's the point? Do they make you a better person (or do they simply make you feel better about yourself)? Do they really help the 2/3 of the world that can barely afford to eat?

I'm not trying to be self-righteous here. I myself am guilty of these practices. But really people...enough is enough. You whine about school when another less fortunate person would kill for the chance to get a better education. You complain to your friends about not having money to buy a new phone, while a mere 10km away, some bum sits in the streets, cold, hungry, penniless and ignored. You bitch about how your boss is a such stingy bastard when some nine year old kid in Indonesia earns money for his family by playing a ukele on the side of the highway.

It's absolutely ridiculous...why are we so damn selfish and irresponsible? Whatever happened to being grateful for what you had? Where did all the compassion for others go? Why does no one CARE anymore?

But what the hell, I'm just a rambling teenager.

A rambling teenager who still, despite this bullshit society we live in, believes that people CAN make a difference. It's just a matter of whether they're bothered to get off their asses and start caring about people other than themselves for a change.

Houseparty '08 - A Recap

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:01:55 GMT

Stuck In My Head:
Call'd and led by Your Spirit,
With an unrelenting praise,
Strengthening Your people till That Day.
Your righteous work we carry on,

In fellowship and love,
Convinced that this good news we share,
Is our mission from above
and together with Your people...

We'll lift up our eyes!
The nations will come!
Let our hearts throb and give You praise!
We'll arise!
Though darkness surrounds,
Lord, Your light will shine to the ends of the earth!

~ Houseparty 2008 Theme Song by Dave & his band

Combined Houseparty '08 - Some General Facts:

Houseparty is not:
- crashing someone's house and partying until the police come
- an annual party at some unspecified house
- a house that parties (obviously)

Houseparty is:
- a gathering of Christians who aim to build relationships-both with God and each other
- during the Easter long weekend

I think the Houseparty Goals sum it up pretty well.
1. To encounter God through the ministry of His Word: through the speakers, the Bible studies, discussion groups, seminars, prayer time and social time.
2. To encourage one another to faithfully proclaim the Gospel wherever He has placed us.
3. To serve one another in unity and love as we form friendships and share fellowship with one another thereby building up the community of Chinese Christian Church (CCC).

Spiffy, eh?

Combined Houseparty '08 - The Highlights

1. The theme. This year's was "To The Ends of The Earth", a call for all Christians to spread the good Word of Christ's grace to the ends of the earth (mission basically).

2. The talks. Dan and Teresa Lee gave these 3 great talks on the following: the mission minded God, the mission minded Gospel and the mission minded Individual. They really struck a chord with me, and I'm still really challenged by what they said. Here's a few excerpts that made me think:

"Who's mission are you on - God's...or yours?"
"Do you know the gospel as a truth in your life?"
"Can you insert your name into John 3:16?"
"Mission exists because the worship of God does not" ~ John Piper

3. The bible studies. Joy, So You Think You Can Shine and We're All In This Together were the 3 bible studies we did on the book of Philippians. (Also, if you're reading this Yoey, our Philippians 2 rap was awesome.) Inspiring bible quotes from Philippians:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ~ Philippians 1:21
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. ~ Philippians 2:14-15
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ~ Philippians 4:13

4. The TaP time. Stands for Think and Pray time. It was just really awesome to be alone with God, in the presence of the wonderful Creation he's made for us. I think I too often focus on what my friends and family think of me when I do things like pray, say grace and tell them about Jesus & my testimony. I feel tend to feel shameful and embarrassed when I should be anything but!
As Paul said in Galatians, "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ." God wants us to boast of his glory, love & grace and proclaim his name throughout all the nations, to the very ends of the earth! Something I need to work on. :-)

5. The Mealtimes. Friends + food + love + high-ness = hilarity + fun + great memories + funny photos + a rockin' rap

6. The Seminars. I went to the Piracy: The Universe + Everything & What is Post-Modernism? seminars. The piracy one really made me think about piracy from a Christian perspective, and the big picture. The post-modernism seminar was...baffling at first, but once I got my head around it, it was really interesting and insightful (thanks for being patient with us Derek!).

7. The Nights. Youth Presentation Night + Concert Night were awe-inspiring. Seriously. To be surrounded by fellow Christians, letting the songs in your heart resound in your mind, even moshing for God...it was like a taste of Revelation 7, that small sweet slice of heaven. Those nights got me really really pumped for God! (When all the teens spontaneously ran up on stage and started moshing, the stage literally started shaking...you could feel it if you got out of time with the jumping rhythm. It was that cool.)

Also, the unofficial Kumbaya Night started at about 11pm in the Prayer Tower after the Concert Night and man...that night is seared into my memory. A bunch of teens sitting in a circle, softly singing songs of praise witih only an acoustic guitar, in perfect harmony...wow. What an amazing experience.

8. The Love. Absolutely incredible. If you sat back and watched how people interacted with others at Houseparty, you'd notice this straight away. Everyone had such love, such caring words, such real smiles, for one another...it was really great. People were just so...loving!
Strangely enough, it didn't feel weird at all. Despite the fact that in the real world, there are very few people who have that genuine compassion and love for others, it felt completely natural. Like they were all your family. My brothers and sisters in Christ...I hope you always remain this genuine and true, regardless of any influence that our cut-throat, dog-eat-dog world may have on you.

If you're down here and you read all of that, congratulations! So that's basically Houseparty '08 in a nutshell.
Prognosis: One of the best four days in my life. I really encourage you to ask me about it if you're interested.

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:10:39 GMT

Stuck In My Head:
Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home
~ Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay, Otis Redding

Hmm. I haven't done the whole blogging thing for a while now. Well, here goes.

Today wasn't really a day of any particular merit. It seems to be one of those days where you're hanging in-between, anticipating something to come, reminiscing something past. In my case, I'm eagerly anticipating my School's Japan Tour (leaving on Saturday morning) and fondly remembering Houseparty '08. I should really do a write up of Houseparty when I come back from Japan. That is, after I've blabbed on about my (mis)adventures in the land of the rising sun.

Also, I'm really looking forward to using our new English textbook. I know that sounds strange, but they've got excerpts from The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde and a parody by Monty Python. "[You are] like a stream of bat piss." Need I say more?

Anyway, I'll contribute more to the rubbish heap that is the blogosphere at a later date, hopefully with more purpose and coherency. An interesting subject matter might help too.